Where Does it Hurt?
by itzalliballi
Summary: He wanted to pretend that they were just two old friends catching up, but he could only play that charade for so long before his plan faltered. Peyton had never been just a friend, no matter what he'd told himself. Leyton!


**Hey everyone. I haven't written for OTH in awhile, but this song came on my Itunes, and this story just popped into my head. Hope you like it! Please let me know what you think!****  
**

**When you open your heart  
There's always so much to lose  
So far to fall  
And nowhere to go when it's through  
But if you let me in  
I won't let you down  
Put your faith in me**

He'd been stuck. Nothing had been saved from the deadly delete button in years, and he couldn't figure out why. He was happy. He had a wonderful girlfriend that he loved. He really did. He had everything that he thought he would at his age, even more really, but it just wasn't with who he thought it'd be with when he made his 5 year plan in high school. His plan had involved Peyton Sawyer. Peyton Sawyer lived in LA, and he did not. He was with his editor. He could no longer write about Peyton because she was no longer his girlfriend. Lindsey was. As much as he loved her, and as happy as she made him, she just was not inspiring. He didn't know how to tell her that though.

Then, she came back. He went to the river court to clear his mind and there she was. All he could think about was how beautiful she was, standing there in the moonlight. The way she looked at him, it was as if they were still teenagers in love. They weren't though, and it killed him to be the one to tell her there was someone else. He wanted to keep it casual. He wanted to pretend that they were just two old friends catching up, but he could only play that charade for so long before his plan faltered. Peyton had never been **just **a friend, no matter what he'd told himself. Brooke could attest to that.

He was going to pretend she hadn't come back at all. He was going to tell himself she would leave by morning and no one would be any the wiser, but they all had different plans. Lindsey met her, and she wanted him to help her. That was all it took for him. He'd been aching to save her again, and this was his shot. They didn't have art anymore, but they had each other, and he was going to help her accomplish her dream. He hadn't really given his mother an option, but really, she didn't argue. His mother had always loved Peyton. He's pretty sure she sees Peyton, and Brooke, much like daughters. Like Lilly. His sister. Sometimes he still couldn't believe he had a little sister, and other times he missed her so much. Almost as much as he missed his mom. She'd understand how he felt when he saw her again, but his mother was in Ireland, and he was left to his own defenses. After all, he was an adult now.

It seemed only right that her building be in Tric, after all, she had nearly built and ran the place herself. He hoped it would make her feel comfortable. He hoped they could be **something **to each other. Anything. All he knew is that now that she was back, he couldn't let her leave him again. He was writing again. He was up all night writing before starting his day, and never once did he feel too tired to do either. He knew Lindsey was upset about the new burst of inspiration, but all he had for her were words. Words is all he ever had for anyone. He had not lied to her. He had not really answered her question, but he had not lied. He loved her. He was certain of it. She was smart, witty, beautiful, she was everything he could want in a partner. Only problem was that she was not Peyton Sawyer. She did not have curly blonde hair, and she did not possess chicken legs. Sometimes, when he was writing, all he could remember were her legs. Them and her last words to him. _Your art is what got me here, Lucas. _ His heart had soared at the words. That's all he'd been doing for years, trying to get here there. With him.

**Cause whenever you crash  
Wherever you land  
That's where I"ll be  
And for every endless midnight  
There's a sky full of broken stars  
And there'll always be a place for you  
Inside my arms  
**

It was two-thirty in the morning when his cell phone started vibrating on the table beside his laptop. He was up again- writing. His eyes darted to his sleeping girlfriend only a few feet away before slipping out of the room to answer the phone. Although it was an unknown number, he had a sinking feeling he knew who it was. It was**her. **As hard as might try, he could never refuse a chance to talk to her. She had been gone too long for such choices as ignoring calls. There were so many things he wanted to know, to ask, to see. Ignoring was not an option.

"Hello?" He whispered into the phone as he sat down in the living room recliner, wincing as it cracked at his unexpected weight. He glanced back towards the hallway to find that there was still no sign of Lindsay.

He was only met with silence. But he could heart her soft breathing, and for that moment, it was enough. It'd just been too long since he'd heard her voice over the phone. He wasn't even sure he could take it.

"Hello?" He finally tried again after gaining his courage. He could almost hear her smile, but he knew that was impossible.

"Luke.." She finally whispered breathlessly, and that was all it took for him to stand back up again. He'd already grabbed his keys before he heard the soft sob.

"Where are you?" He demanded sternly, keeping his voice low as he searched for a pencil to write a note. He knew, somewhere in the far far back of his mind that what he was doing was wrong, but it wasn't loud enough to stop him. She needed him. He couldn't say no. He wouldn't.

_Hales's. I love you. _

It was all he wrote. It didn't even occur to him that Lindsey was nearly closer to Haley than he was these days. He didn't even begin to question it. He was out the door before the thoughts could really make a difference. He cursed the cool night's air as he brought his hands to his lips, breathing lightly onto them for warmth. He'd started his car before he realized he'd never gotten an answer.

"Peyt, where are-" His words were cut off as he looked across the street to find his answer. He hadn't seen the car in years. She had the top on, but he could see the outline of her figure through the darkness, and instinctively, he knew where to go. He nodded to himself as he ended the call. He pulled out of the driveway as quietly as he could before speeding down the road. There was only one place he knew to go. He'd never told anyone about it. All of his friends assumed it'd been abandoned. He'd kept up with it in the first year, but as time passed on, he rendered it useless. The grass was long overdue for a cutting, and the house could easily use a coat of paint, but he didn't care. It was his house. He'd bought it from Larry with the money from his book signing. No one knew. Not even his mom. Or Lindsey. Especially Lindsey. Only Larry, who'd moved down to Florida for work.

**There's a million streets to walk down  
In this city of broken hearts  
But there'll always be a place for you  
Inside my arms  
Where does it hurt **

**Alexz Johnson**

She was not right behind him when he pulled into the driveway, and for a moment he was worried that she wouldn't. That she'd decided against it. He reached into his pocket for his phone to call her but he saw the headlights before he'd hit send. Even at a distance, he could tell she was confused as to why they were at her childhood home. He wasn't sure he could tell her that it was thei- his. It was his house. He lived in his mother's house, but he didn't have to. He'd just never been able to walk inside his house without being flooded with memories of her. But something told him he had better chances of facing them if she was with him. Or it'd be twice as worse, but it was too late to consider that now. She was already out of her car and walking towards him. She was within reach before either of them spoke.

"Luke, my dad doesn't own this house anymore. He moved not too long after graduation." She looked around worried, and all he could do was smile. He hated that he still found her so adorable. He thought of reaching out for her hand, but he thought better of it. She wasn't his to take anymore, and it'd be best for him to remember that. Especially now at the house that he'd based their life on.

"I know." He nodded before turning towards the house, fiddling with the keys in his pocket as he made his way through the wavering grass that almost reached his mid calf.

"Then what are we doing here?" She whispered loudly as she ran behind him, afraid of being seen. She had no idea who'd bought the house. She'd never been able to ask, but she figured they wouldn't take too kindly to someone having a late night chat in their living room. She looked around the yard and was sad to see how ran down it was. It'd been a nice house when she lived there. Not overly done like Brooke's, but it was cozy. Now it just made her sick. She didn't understand how someone could let it get that bad. Her jaw dropped as he pulled out a key to the house and easily unlocked it, pushing the door open with the twist of the knob.

"How did.. How?" She managed to get out as she stepped over the threshold to the obviously empty house. Even with the few pieces of furniture that she realized her father had left behind, it still seemed empty. Maybe because she knew where each piece of furniture that was missing was suppose to be.

"I bought it." He managed to get out weakly as he looked around the place. It was definitely more familiar when she was standing there, but not nearly enough to comfort him. He'd placed so many of his dreams on this house, and now they just hurt. "I even tried to live here for a few weeks.. but.." He cleared his throat as he shoved his hands into his pocket. "It just felt wrong."

She wanted so badly to pull him into a hug and never let him go, but she couldn't bring herself to do that, so she wrapped her arms around herself instead. It wasn't nearly as comforting, but it would suffice as what those words meant slapped her right in the face. He had bought it for **her. **

"Luke.." She breathed his name as tears flooded her eyes. She didn't know what to say.

"You called me, Peyt." The feelings of loss and betrayal filtered his veins, and it was becoming increasingly difficult to be around her. It was as if the walls were collapsing into him, leaving him begging for some fresh air. "Maybe I should go." He said the words, but he couldn't even bring himself to make a single inch of a move towards the door .The truth was as much as it hurt, it wouldn't hurt nearly as much as walking away from her. Walking away was something she'd done enough for the both of them.

"It hurts." She sniffled, stubbornly wiping away tears that were only going to be replaced instantly.

His heart melted as he took a step towards her, allowing himself to touch her for the first time since she'd come back into his life. He ran his fingers along her face with her jawline before allowing them to run into the curls of her hair. He knew he should stop, he knew he had a girl sleeping in his bed in that moment, but he'd never been able to make that important when it came to Peyton. She was his ultimate weakness. He could never tell her anything she didn't want to hear more than once. The first time was hard enough, this was just useless. "Tell me where it hurts." He whispers hoarsely as he stared into her eyes. He licked his lips that were quickly becoming parched as his eyes fell to her lips, that seemed completely moist and inviting.

She slowly brought up her hand to her heart, holding it over the beating organ. "Here." She responded, knowing it was wrong as well. She shouldn't have called him at all, and they shouldn't be there together in a house that held so many memories. Before he could react, she began walking backwards towards the stairwell. She kept screaming to herself to stop before she did anything worse, but her feet had a mind of their own as she turned around to walk up the stairs, instinctively knowing he would follow her. She walked slowly, not wanting to force him to do anything he didn't want to. She was giving him ample time to walk away, because once they were upstairs, she really could make no promises to control herself. Her room was almost exactly as she'd left it when she went to LA. It was eerie really. But it did nothing but make her want him even more. He had really loved her. Even when she broke up with him, he had kept it the same for her. He had known she would come back, someday. He had known when she had not.

"Peyt.." His voice was hoarse as she turned towards him, standing in the doorway as he'd done countless times before. In a past life it had seemed only hours ago when she was sitting in her room of Brooke's house. But now, as they both stood in the room, it seemed like no time had passed at all. She felt like a school girl all over again, wanting, craving him more than ever.

"Make it stop, Luke." She demanded as she slowly walked towards him, grabbing onto his hand as she pulled him backwards towards the bed. "Please make it stop." She continued as she covered her heart with her free hand. She kept her eyes on his as she sat down on the bed. He seemed taller now than he had been, but she refused to think about how much time had passed. She breathed a sigh of relief as he nodded, once again running a hand through her hair.

"Ok." He confirmed as he leaned towards her, forcing her to submit to the bed, scooting up slightly as she did so. She gasped as he leaned over her, not even touching her yet. His legs were spread across her, his head lingering above her before he finally lowered his lips to her chest. Leaving in their path butterfly kisses.

She allowed her eyes to flutter shut at his touch, allowing her body to respond in every way. It felt so familiar and so new at the same time that she didn't even know how to begin to process it. There'd never been a time when Lucas had not been a part of her thoughts, of her dreams, but this moment seemed so much more than she could ever begin to dream. The butterfly kisses became harder, and finally she couldn't take it anymore. She used her hands to pull his head back up towards her to capture his lips with her own. The kiss was so slow that it seemed illegal. It was so light that had to flutter her eyes open to remind herself she was there. She could feel the tingling in her fingertips, craving more.

Like the butterfly kisses, these eventually became harder too. More aggressive as her hands began to roam his body, unbuttoning all the buttons needed along the way. "I have missed you so much.." She whispered into his mouth, her back arching into his body, begging to feel the weight of him on her. She pouted stubbornly as she arched her back again this time using her hands to pull him towards her.

He finally relented as he slowly lowered his weight onto her. "I missed you too, Peyt." He whispered into her ear.

Those were the last words uttered purposely as clothes were discarded onto the floor until morning when Luke's phone rang. _Lindsey._

"Shit!" Lucas cursed as he tried to move but was weighed down by the blonde who was sleeping peacefully on his chest. He hated himself all over again for what he'd done. He didn't know what this meant, if it meant anything at all, but he knew he couldn't face Lindsey now. He frowned as he hit Ignore before cuddling back into Peyton. He'd deal with the world later. He had to make sure Peyton was okay.

"I love you, Lucas." She mumbled in her sleep, cuddling his chest even more as she attempted to dig her head even further into him.

"I love you too, Peyt." He whispered, placing a soft kiss into her hair. It was, in fact,the only thing he knew for sure anymore. He was still in love with Peyton Sawyer.

**Comments?**


End file.
